yanderebitchclub | ( catchall ) even now i still dream of you

[He should say no. Izumi's safer in public. If they go back to Sandalphon's place, he can't trust himself. What if he bites him? What if this hunger finally becomes too unbearable?

He should say no. He should say no. He needs to say—]

...That sounds nice. I always love your cooking...it really is the best I've ever had.

[That's not even an exaggeration. Izumi's a great cook, though it's not the taste of his cooking that Sandalphon's thinking about right now. If he slips up, accidentally nicks his hand, would just being able to suck on that help this hunger of his...?

His head clears up briefly when they enter the makeup shop, but he's already agreed and the last thing he wants to do is make Izumi have to change his plans after he's been nice enough to change them once already, so he'll simply have to be more careful for the rest of the day. He manages to get a bandage from an employee, too, which he hands to Izumi for his finger.

On the way back to Sandalphon's place, he holds tight to Izumi's hand. This situation is getting untenable. If Izumi finds out what he is, he'll be frightened...but he can't help but want to indulge in this relationship for as long as he can.]

I just went grocery shopping the other day, so you should have a good range of options to choose from. Oh, but there's a lot of meat, so make sure to wear gloves over that cut of yours.

[Consuming rare meat is the best way to get a little bit of energy back by eating human food. Drinking from an animal would be better, but the common animals of the city, pigeons and the like, have so little blood it'd require a large number of them, and Sandalphon's got principles—he won't go after people's pets, even if some dogs would be large enough to get him the blood he needs.

Human blood is the most nutritious, anyway.]

[ izumi's positively sparkling throughout their little shopping date, no thanks to sandalphon's compliment and the amount of makeup he's amassed after making a quick scan of their latest arrivals. he's as ignorant as ever to sandalphon's own anxieties, only gripping his hand just as tightly because he's feeling a lot more affectionate than usual today. how cute. how sweet.

they arrive at sandalphon's abode, and izumi instantly zooms in on his refrigerator to get what he needs while his boyfriend prattles on about kitchen safety. ]

No need to tell me twice. [ he grabs for the pair of kitchen gloves and strapping them on, stretching out his fingers. ] Any requests? I was thinking of a hot soup in case you're still not feeling well, but I'm flexible.

[ just gonna start preparing that rice, while he's at it... ]

[If Izumi didn't know any better he'd swear he was doing this on purpose. Is blood a soup? He's sure there's a YouTube video about this somewhere that's sparked miles' worth of threads of online discourse.

The smell of blood is long gone, but unfortunately, the appealing scent of Izumi himself lingers in the room even after he heads for the kitchen, and Sandalphon can slowly begin to feel himself unhinge. He lurches over, still clearly unwell, and embraces him from behind, burying his face in the side of his neck. Ah, he can feel his pulse from here...]

If it's you...if it's you, it'll taste delicious...

[He's trying to keep up with the conversation, he really is. It's the last thing keeping him tethered.]

[ his breath catches in his throat when sandalphon holds him in his arms from behind, almost dropping whatever he's holding in his hands. he's not gonna lie, the breathy way he said that coupled with this kind of physical intimacy that rarely gets initiated by sandalphon is lowkey turning him on, but this isn't the time for that. his heartrate going up a tick at this sudden gesture certainly isn't helping either. ]

Since when you did you become this clingy?

[ he can't help but tease, one gloved hand going up to ruffle his boyfriend's hair. ]

Just take a bite out of me if you're that hungry, jeez. You won't be getting any food while you're distracting me like this...

[ he's just kidding, mostly. now let go of him before he makes a similar accident in the kitchen. ]

[If Sandalphon still had a heartbeat of his own, it'd be pounding uncontrollably right now. He feels dizzy, exhilarated, barely managing to wrest his self-control back from the hungry, desperate voice in the back of his head begging him—"you see, it's fine, he said you could take a bite out of him"—he knows that's not what he meant, it can't possibly have been what he meant, but could he really be blamed for it? In the heat of the moment, could he be blamed for sucking this human dry?

He feels himself scraping his teeth against the side of Izumi's neck and reels back, clapping a hand over his mouth. Fortunately, it looks like he managed to regain his senses before he broke the skin, but even so...]

I'm sorry...I...need to—lie down—

[He moves to drag himself out of the room, looking worse by the minute. Leaving won't help, at this point. But it will keep him away from the man he loves too much to feed on.]

[ he lets out a tiny gasp at the teeth on his neck, and it registers in izumi's mind that they do look sharp, come to think of it... still, he's a lot more worried about sandalphon reeling back and staggering out of the room, so of course he's going to trail after him. ]

What's wrong this time, Sanchan...? Are you still that sick? I told you not to force yourself if you're not feeling well, didn't I?

[ stripping off the kitchen gloves, he grabs for sandalphon's hand and leads him back to his bedroom and onto his bed in an attempt to tuck him in. ]

Just tell me what you want and I'll get it for you, all right? Now stop being so annoying and lie down.

[ he lifts a hand and absentmindedly strokes the part of his neck where sandalphon had kissed him. wait, was it really a kiss? for a moment there, it felt like sandalphon really did intend to take a bite out of him... ]

[Sandalphon lets himself be led to bed and even tucked in, but he vehemently shakes his head when Izumi asks what he wants.]

...I...the truth is, I know why I'm sick, but...it's my own fault, I should have taken care of this by now...

[But living such a blissful, "normal" life with Izumi had been so much fun. Combine that with the difficulty vampires have finding a place that isn't being surveilled somehow in the modern era, and it's a recipe for disaster.

There's a twisting, tearing pain in his chest. He's going to have to tell him, and he's going to have to watch the expression on Izumi's face shift to fear, revulsion, disgust—]

It's...I haven't been...eating properly, and...

[He can't say it. He looks up at Izumi, desperation in his eyes, as though he's begging him to say it for him, even though he's not providing nearly enough information for him to catch on—but he's so desperate to not have to say it himself.]

...And now it's...it's too late to do anything about it...I...

[He puts his face in his hands.]

...You...should probably go. I'm sorry. I don't...I can't...

[He can't bear to hurt him.]

[ izumi listens to sandalphon beating around the bush, the truth slowly dawning on him. the cold hands, the immense hunger pangs, the fangs... izumi should've known by now, shouldn't he? look at him claiming to be the smarter of the two of them and only realizing this now.

his boyfriend has always lacked initiative, so izumi has no choice but to step in. he straddles sandalphon on the bed, wrapping his hands around the other man's wrists to pull his hands out of his face, red eyes meeting blue. ]

Sanchan, listen to me. I want you to get well, okay? I just... want to confirm something before we do something we'd both regret.

[ he swallows. ]

You're... You're not human, are you?

[Izumi has come to the correct conclusion, the one that Sandalphon was hoping he'd come to, but he's still miserable about it—he'd been hoping to never have to discuss this, or at least wait until he'd tested the waters a bit more before having the truth come to light.]

...No. I'm not. I'm a vampire.

[He averts his eyes, unable to meet Izumi's steadfast gaze.]

I had been looking for a good time to tell you, I wasn't going to hide it forever. But I didn't want you to be afraid of me...no, maybe it's more accurate to say I was the one who was afraid. I was so scared to lose you.

[...But now he doesn't have a choice, does he...there's not even a spark of hope in his eyes.]

...I won't contact you again, I swear, I'll—I'll move across the country if you'll feel safe from me that way. I'm sorry I misled you.

[Who would want to be with someone who gets hungry at the scent of their blood?]

[ a vampire. that makes sense. of course he'd be bothered with a mere papercut.

izumi mulls over this as he continues to watch sandalphon beneath him, gaze unreadable. of course he should be scared for his life right now, since sandalphon might snap at any moment, and yet... ]

...I told you that I want you to get well, right?

h[ e doesn't know what came over him, but he presses his nicked finger to his boyfriend's lips, as if daring him to. ]

Then live off me, if you want.

[Sandalphon's pupils blow wide open at the scent of blood again, and his mouth slowly falls open, as though it's against his will.

He's in possession of enough of his faculties to speak one last time, though, one more chance for Izumi to see reason.]

...I...could hurt you. I wouldn't try to, and I wouldn't mean to, but I...I'm so hungry...

[He really might drain him dry. The look in his eyes is downright feral right now—there's food right in front of him, willingly offering itself.]

I want to live with you, but not off of you...!

[One last attempt to resist. He owes Izumi at least this much. He doesn't know what he's offering. He's a model, how could he have that kind of career if he had bite marks plastered all over his neck? How is he supposed to stay healthy if he's losing his blood every now and again? Sandalphon isn't worth all that, he'd never be worth Izumi's health or his livelihood—

—But he's so, so hungry. And his lucid mind is fighting a losing battle against his instinct to survive.]

If you're aware of that, then I know you wouldn't go too far. I trust you.

[ sandalphon's exercised so much restraint at this point that it's pitiable. izumi wants him to relieve him of all that, even if it means feeding off of him. he did buy enough beauty products to hide the marks from his neck, and he could just change around his diet if he needs to recover some blood in his system.

it's easier said than done, but... izumi will take care of it. he always will.

he grasps sandalphon's hand, and places it on his own thigh. it's now or never. ]

...If you love me, you'll do it. I'm doing this much because I love you too, so...

[ please live. ]

[Sandalphon thinks, with the last of his reason, that it should at least be somewhere less visible than the neck. His eyes follow Izumi's hand when he places it on his thigh, and with the last of his strength, he hauls himself up and flips Izumi onto his back, looming over him. His neck is more inviting than anything, but Sandalphon lowers his head and positions himself between Izumi's legs, breath puffing out against the tender flesh of his inner thigh. Were he possessed of all his faculties, he'd be too embarrassed to do it here, but he doesn't hesitate for a moment to sink his fangs into him, puncturing the skin.

The taste of blood is something he's been craving for so long, even low-quality blood would taste like heaven. But Izumi's is top-notch—a healthy body means healthy blood, and Sandalphon also discovers, much to his delight, that Izumi's blood type is also the one he favors the most.

Both as a couple and as a vampire and his blood bank, it seems they're perfectly compatible.

Sandalphon greedily swallows Izumi's blood by the mouthful, practically brought to tears by how good he tastes after enduring his hunger pains for so long. Any stray drops that escape are quickly lapped up, and once Sandalphon's had his fill he continues to lave his tongue over the puncture marks he left behind, cleaning up any smears of blood left behind and staunching the flow of any more than necessary.

He's already starting to look and feel better, too.]

...I love you...I...thank you so much...thank you...

[More delicate licks along Izumi's inner thigh. By now he's definitely more cognizant of where he actually is, but he can't very well let Izumi bleed all over his sheets, can he?]

...Are you alright?

[ izumi had no time to react once sandalphon's found the energy to pin him down on the bed, closing his eyes as he waits for his boyfriend's sharp teeth on close in on his neck-- but it didn't come. instead sandalphon surprised him by going for his legs instead, and izumi grasps at sandalphon's hair as the latter sustained himself. it hurt, of course, but he's not gonna lie -- it wasn't as bad as he thought he was, and without realizing it he lets out a couple of muffled moans as sandalphon licked and sucked at one of his more erogenous zones.

by the time sandalphon's had his fill, izumi looks like a mess at the end of it. flushed cheeks, slightly trembling body, a telltale tent between his legs -- he didn't think that he was a complete masochist himself, and yet... ]

Don't just... take me by surprise like that... [ he pants. ] I'll be fine, just-- give me a moment.

[ hah, he's so weak. ]

[Sandalphon continues to lap at the small beads of blood that ooze from Izumi's bite, slower and slower until they come to a stop—and when they do, he finally raises his head and gets a good look at the state Izumi's in. Now that he's had a chance to eat, he's less pale—but he's much less pale as he blushes as fiercely as an undead creature can.

He glances from the tent in Izumi's pants to his face and back again, then slips a fingertip underneath the waistband of his shorts.]

...Let me take care of this for you. As a thanks for feeding me...or maybe just because I love you.

[The truth is, he's overwhelmed with affection right now. He'd been so prepared for Izumi to react with understandable fear, rejecting him, but to be so accepting...and to even be aroused after the fact, it's all like a dream to Sandalphon. After mentally preparing himself for loneliness, Izumi staying by him, even if only just for a feeding, is making him fall in love all over again, eager to return the feeling tenfold.]

I promise I won't bite.

[Bold words coming from someone who just bit him.]

[ very bold words indeed. despite having his life sucked out of him for a moment there, izumi manages a rather coquettish smile as he hooks his thumbs at the waistband of his shorts and underwear, pulling them down to reveal his hardening cock. ]

You're still hungry, aren't you...?

[ ahh, he's slowly starting to lose it. he could've sworn his heart grew twice just now at how ravenous sandalphon's being, but maybe it's the result of the blood flowing from his head and down to his dick. he's not complaining, though.

his hand ruffles at sandalphon's hard, fingers sliding down to cup his cheek. he wipes the stray drop of blood from the edge of his lover's mouth with his thumb, cooing in a low, soft voice. ]

If you do it gently, I'll let you bite me somewhere else.

[ his neck, for instance. ]

[It's true Sandalphon hasn't completely filled his stomach out of concern for Izumi, but he'd suck his dick even if he had eaten as much as he wanted...

...Still, the lilting, teasing tone of Izumi's voice always plays him like a fiddle, and this time is no exception. He swallows hard and licks his lips, eyes focused on Izumi's cock.]

Then, pardon me...

[First thing to do is get him hard; he trails long, slow licks up the shaft, gently circling the tip with his tongue, darting back down to suck on his balls—and once he's fully erect, Sandalphon carefully takes hold of Izumi's hips, one arm carefully supporting each thigh, and leans down to take his length into his mouth, swallowing as much of it as he can. He feels the tip hit the back of his throat and pauses, pulls his head back; he needs a little bit of loosening up himself before he can properly deepthroat him the way he deserves.

But that doesn't mean he's not trying to make Izumi feel good—while he's taking the time to angle his throat and widen it in preparation, he's running his tongue all along the underside of Izumi's dick as he bobs his head, moving quickly but carefully; the last thing he wants to do is bite him, after all.]

[ it doesn't take long for izumi to get fully hard; a stuttering sigh leaves his throat as sandalphon swallows him whole, as if this is what he wanted sandalphon's mouth to be doing all this time. except no, this is not enough, and since sandalphon's secret is now out it'll never be enough.

he lies back down on the bed, the urge to cover his face rising up once more as sandalphon works his talented mouth on him, but he manages to fight down the bashfulness and opts to look down on him instead.

ah. ]

You're so... beautiful...

[ usually it's sandalphon who'd pepper him with praise regarding his ethereal appearance, but izumi can't help but comment anyway, face even redder than usual as he lightly tugs at sandalphon's hair. he never would've thought a true-to-life vampire is going to suck him off, and yet here it is, and it's all so exhilarating.

but overall, he's just happy and relieved that sandalphon's all right now. they can get through this. ]

[Sandalphon's cheeks color slightly pink at the compliment, and if he weren't so focused on sucking his boyfriend's dick, he'd certainly have a bashful look on his face. But in lieu of showing Izumi his embarrassed expression, Sandalphon opts to thank him by taking him all the way down his throat, holding the position just long enough for Izumi to feel him swallowing around the shaft, before pulling away to caress the head of his cock with his tongue. He'd been eager for the taste of blood earlier, but now he's craving this taste instead—so much that he's desperate for it, deepthroating Izumi's cock with the same starved demeanor as when he had been sucking his blood.

He wants to tell Izumi he's beautiful too, but it's hard to do that with a dick in his mouth, so he'll do what he can to meet Izumi's loving gaze.]

[ the wet warmth of sandalphon's mouth is simply too addicting, especially when he keeps hitting the back of the throat like that. the thought of sandalphon potentially biting down on his dick lest he's not careful crosses his mind for a hot second, but inherent danger of that is almost too tempting, and at this rate-- ]

San... Sanchan, I'm-- going to...

[ he grabs the back of his boyfriend's head and forcefully pushes him down as he comes, panting as he makes him swallow all of it. sandalphon might be too full of him at this point, but... isn't that a good thing?

after a while he lets go of his head and lies back down on the bed, still catching his breath. that was so much, his energy's all but sapped, and yet he can feel his heartbeat in his ears and throat. he's so tired, but he knows all too well that his boyfriend is just getting started. ]

[Sandalphon dutifully swallows every drop of cum, giving the tip of Izumi's cock one last swipe with his tongue as he pulls away, opening his mouth to show that it's empty. This tastes good, too, and he wants Izumi to know it. He gets no sustenance from semen, but he can get satisfaction from it just fine.

He's hard from sucking Izumi off, but he's got some ideas about how to handle that. He stands, just long enough to loom over Izumi again, licking his lips.]

Did you mean it? About biting your neck?

[Izumi's heightened heartbeat and racing pulse are things Sandalphon is genetically engineered to notice, and his pupils are wide with the desire to feed. Before Izumi can answer, he's already sunk his teeth into his neck, fingers working at Izumi's shirt to pull it off of him even as he drinks more blood. His racing pulse makes it even sweeter.

He's still hungry, and now he's horny too. Izumi's got his work cut out for him.]

[ for some reason, being looked at and lusted after like prey is really turning izumi on, but he hasn't got the time to think too long on whether he really is just some masochist or not. he yelps at the teeth sinking into his skin like butter, arms wrapping themselves around sandalphon for dear life as his boyfriend helps himself to his healthy blood, along with adrenaline coursing his veins. even though he'd just recently come, he can feel himself getting hard once more despite himself, and there's absolutely no way to hide that from sandalphon in this position. ]

San... Sanchan, please, ahh... I want, you--

[ it's a dangerous thing to ask for, but... well. he is losing a bit of blood, so of course he's going to be a bit delirious. but everything about this feels so good -- it's like sex, but different. and he knows that sandalphon would never, ever go overhoard, and yet... what if he did, just a tad?

he wraps a leg around his vampire boyfriend's waist, tugging him down. come on, come on, he might as well make izumi feel full as payment. ]

[Words could never express just how happy Sandalphon is to be so wholly accepted. He's something humans should fear, a monster that preys on them, and still, the one he fell in love with wants him this much, is even willing to help him keep living in a world that's made even getting enough to eat impossible.

Sandalphon drinks his fill, until he's feeling healthier than he has in decades, finally able to eat properly instead of needing to run before anyone finds him. It might be enough to leave Izumi a little dizzy.]

I love you, Izumi...

[There has to be something he can do to thank him, but fortunately Izumi pulling him closer is enough to answer that question. He's careful to swallow all the blood in his mouth and run his tongue over his teeth to make sure the taste of blood in his mouth is as dampened as it can be before kissing him. Truly, he's insatiable—Izumi can offer him his blood, his body, and he just wants more of him. How selfish. How deplorable.

But it seems like what Izumi wants right now is for him to act on those selfish impulses, so he reaches down to work at the clasp of his pants even while he feverishly kisses Izumi. He'll give Izumi as much of himself as he wants, in exchange for Izumi giving so much of himself first.

Once he's successfully maneuvered his pants down around his knees, he finally pulls away. Vampires are undead, so they don't need to breathe, but Izumi is a different story, after all.

He gropes around for the lube he keeps by his bedside and begins stretching Izumi open; he's more energetic than he's been in a long time, perhaps ever, from Izumi's perspective, and he's not about to waste time not giving him the loving he deserves.]

[ not only did sandalphon took some of his blood, he'd also taken izumi's breath away. the adrenaline keeps coursing through his veins as sandalphon kisses him, and -- somehow the metallic taste of blood inside his vampire boyfriend's mouth is the least of his worries right now. though maybe he should be worried that he's quickly losing color?

well, despite that, izumi's pale cheeks is still flushed red after sandalphon kisses him stupid, so there's probably some more blood left inside him. his head feels almost empty, with only sandalphon inhabiting his thoughts at the moment, and he tenses around the other male's fingers as he's being prepped up. sandalphon has always been sweet and careful, so izumi's not too worried about losing too much here, but...

he wouldn't mind losing himself in sandalphon completely, if it came to it. though maybe that's just the delirium talking, because after this he might beat sandalphon's ass anyway for drinking too much, tbh. ]

Mm, Sanchan... Fill me.

[ a simple request. after all, sandalphon should replace his fluids with one of his own. it's only fair. ]

Gladly.

[Sandalphon doesn't give Izumi any time to rest, sliding into him as soon as he's ready. Izumi's spacey expression is delightfully cute on him, and Sandalphon can't help but kiss him again as he moves his hips, eager to spoil him however he wants. This is a stark role reversal as of late—for a while now, it's Sandalphon who's tired and Izumi who's the more eager of the two. And that means that now it's Sandalphon's turn to pamper Izumi the same way Izumi has always pampered him.

One of his hands gropes along the bed until he locates one of Izumi's; he laces their fingers together, holding his hand. He wants every possible point of connection, to be as close as he can to him in every sense of the word now that he's feeling better. He loves Izumi so, so much, and he has to do everything he can to express it.]

Love...you...

[He murmurs between heated kisses, whispering his name.]

( catchall ) even now i still dream of you

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