yanderebitchclub | ( catchall ) even now i still dream of you

[Causality—the laws of cause and effect. It's one of the principles on which the universe was founded. An action causes a consequence. Sandalphon broke out of Pandemonium, and the consequence was everything that happened after.

...Of course, this means nothing if causality itself has been warped. For instance, if Sandalphon were to find himself outside of Pandemonium, despite never breaking out. Or perhaps, having emerged in his bitter state with no action to create that consequence...to have been ruined by the Supreme Primarch, in a world where primarchs never existed to begin with.

Whatever the case, he's not himself. The chaos gnawing at the edges of reality even sees fit to drop him into a world he doesn't know. He's confused, frightened—angry, bitter, hurt. He doesn't know anything, doesn't recognize anything. Exia carefully lurk in the shadows, a present from a foe Sandalphon doesn't even know exists, though they're too well-hidden for anyone else to see.

In his desperation to figure out what's going on, Sandalphon frantically sweeps through the area, uprooting and flipping just about everything in his wake. Tables, chairs, prying the doors off of a cabinet—anything he can do to find some semblance of familiarity. He doesn't quite know what he's looking for, but whatever it is, it isn't here.]

[ causality this, fate and destiny that -- for all the flowery words izumi gets to spit out on stage for his much-awaiting audience, he really doesn't look more into any of that. as far as he knows, he has been living a relatively normal life as an idol in japan and model overseas, secretly dating a certain brunette in the meantime. truly living his best life right here.

he'd gotten back from florence late at night, also in secret; he wanted to surprise his boyfriend in the morning with a cute little text and selfie, sappy shit like that. but what he didn't expect after unlocking the door to his apartment late that night was a prowler looking through his furniture.

one that looks like his lover, for instance. ]

...Sanchan? [ he asks, voice cautious. that... is him, right? sandalphon, his grumpy bf with a coffee addiction. who else could it be? ] What are you doing? Did you do all this?

[ the mess, he means. like what the fuck ]

[Sandalphon frowns deeply at the overly familiar form of address, though he hasn't bothered to so much as glance in Izumi’s direction just yet. "Sanchan"...? He doesn't have anyone who'd ever call him something like that.

Two swords of light materialize in the air, both pointed at Izumi as Sandalphon continues rooting through the cabinet. Even the coffee supplies he's so meticulously sorted out end up strewn all across the floor.]

You've got ten seconds to explain yourself, mortal. Who are you and where am I?

[Maybe fewer if he doesn't like the words.]

[ he takes a step back at the swords pointed towards him, a mix of confusion and fear etched on his face. it's all but obvious that sandalphon is not human, but izumi hasn't been referred like that before.

so of course he's not going to stay down. ]

What, are you not Sandalphon? This is my place you're looting.

[ there's no way he'll like those words, but izumi's just as stubborn. as intimidating those blades of light are, those are nothing compared to how his boyfriend(?) is acting right now. ]

[Sandalphon's eyes narrow when he hears his name. How does this human know who he is?]

You'll have bigger concerns than your possessions if you don't answer my questions. Do you really think I won't kill you?

[Sandalphon turns an unfamiliar gaze, callous and hateful, onto Izumi.]

My curiosity has limits. At least cooperating means I might spare you.

[It's four blades now, all suspended midair with murderous intent. Sandalphon strides forward, even his posture completely different than normal—leaned slightly forward, aggression baked into every motion he makes.]

So I'll ask again—who are you, how do you know me, and where am I?

[ even back then, izumi's all too aware that sandalphon will always have power over him. he only lives an ordinary, boring human life after all, that it was a miracle that they'd even gotten together in the first place. and yet, sandalphon always lets izumi take charge more often, and he always goes along with whatever izumi's planning.

and right now he feels powerless against this angel. he takes a couple more steps backwards until he hits the wall, his blood running cold. fine, he gets it, he's not playing around.

so he takes a deep breath to keep his voice steady when he speaks. ]

Sena Izumi. We... knew each other for quite a while now. You're in my apartment in a world called Earth.

[ there. professional, even on the brink of death. ]

I think I'd remember someone like you.

[He's certainly striking to look at. Sandalphon moves even closer, leaning in to get a good look at his face. He lifts a leg and presses his foot against the wall at about the height of Izumi's waist, cutting off his chance of escape.]

I obviously don't recognize you, but...go on, then, Sena Izumi. How is it we knew each other...?

[There's something exhilarating about having someone in a situation like this. He hadn't realized he was a little into sadism until just now.]

[ he flinches a bit at the sudden leg-kabedon, but continues to stand his ground as he clenches his fists. the urge to slap or push him away is overwhelming, but he knows better. he's trapped. ]

It's... a long story. You might find it hard to believe but... We're seeing each other. Intimately.

[ his heart sinks upon hearing that sandalphon doesn't remember him, but... this is the same person he loves so much, isn't it? if he hates izumi, he would've struck him down without a chance to explain himself by now. ]

[Izumi might be expecting disbelief, bewilderment, or something along those lines, but what he gets instead, after a very long pause, is cynical laughter, bubbling up from the depths of Sandalphon's chest. It's full of resentment and hateful to hear, and when he finally snaps his gaze back to Izumi it's with the expression of a man moments from doing something extreme.]

Do you think you're funny? Do you really think now, of all times, is when you should be making jokes?

[He's furious, but there's a deeply resonant pain in his words.

No one has ever loved him, after all. This kind of jest is too cruel for someone like him.]

Go on, then, mortal. If we're so intimate with one another, why don't you greet me like a lover? I'll at least get some amusement out of you before I cut you to pieces!

[ izumi had opted to be submissive for a little while, but at sandalphon's angry words, he can't help but want to retaliate. sandalphon is being a brat right now (the understatement of the fucking year, given the situation he's in), and the last thing izumi wants is that and getting humiliated right on top of it. ]

You know what? How about I tell you what's so "funny" about all this?

[ he takes one step closer to sandalphon, leaning his face closer to his. now there's no escape. ]

I came home expecting to be welcomed home at the very least, only to find someone like you wrecking my entire house. Shouldn't you be the one to greet me like a lover instead? Guess it can't be helped, since you've never known what it's like. [ he smiles rather cruelly as he leans closer to the other's ear, whispering lovelessly. ] Welcome home, Sandalphon.

Edited 2021-04-04 13:52 (UTC)

[It shouldn't hurt this much, being mocked by someone who was clearly only ever joking to begin with. But he's right—Sandalphon will never have anyone to love him, no one will tell him he's needed, and he'll never get even his most basic desires granted. Isn't the despair that comes along with that knowledge why he's lashing out in the first place?

...Even so, it hurts.]

You want me to treat you like a lover? Fine by me. If you're going to make such unpleasant jokes, let's see how far you can take it.

[He sweeps Izumi's legs out from under him with a low kick from the leg that had been pressed against the wall, looming over him, eyes wild with pain. Why is he the only one who has to be hurt?!]

Don't worry, mortal. I'll be gentle.

[But he's tearing Izumi’s shirt open as he says it. So.]

[ upon those words leaving his mouth, izumi was expecting to get struck down to death by his blades. he knew he was going too far, but that was the only form of defense he could think of as a mere human, and as sandalphon's actual lover. doesn't sandalphon understand that saying that hurt izumi just as much, if not worse? izumi had taught him everything, and yet--

and yet, he's found himself falling down on the floor with little to no reaction time. his hands automatically attempt to push sandalphon away as the other man rips off his shirt, revealing love bites on his neck and collarbone that he himself had left on his pristine skin. seems they haven't healed yet from the last time they'd made love. ]

Gentle, my ass! Get off me!

Didn't you want me to greet you like a lover? Wouldn't you be happy if your lover were this enthusiastic when you just got home?

[He smirks down at the love bites—it's obvious he doesn't remember leaving them there.]

It seems like whoever they are, they're rough with you already, so surely you'll be able to endure this much.

[He gets right to work on Izumi's pants as well, haphazardly tugging them off his hips. He makes quick work of his own armor after that, and as soon as it's off he's leaning down to press his forehead against Izumi's, making eye contact with him.]

But rest assured, mortal. No matter how much pain you're in, know that I'll be holding back. It's no fun to break your toys before you've even played with them.

[With that, he gives Izumi a rough, painful kiss, too hard and not paying particular mind to his teeth. If he draws blood, it wouldn't be surprising. His hands remain on Izumi's hips for the time being to hold him down—he's not particularly interested in whether Izumi is enjoying himself, after all.]

[ he's not wrong, for the most part. but izumi wanted sandalphon to surprise him with an eager kiss as he carries him to the couch or to the bed and ravish him there. but instead he'd gotten his (expensive) shirt torn to piece as he's pinned down there on the cold hard floor but the man he used to know - but maybe izumi doesn't know anything about sandalphon in the end.

he winces at the forceful kiss, tasting a bit of blood. while it's usually fine and expected if sandalphon got a little too excited, this is... this is different. this sandalphon is intent on hurting him, and this time, izumi knows that he means it. his stomach sinks at the realization as he continues shoving at the angel's shoulders an another attempt to push him off. ]

Fuck... you... If you're just going to hold back on me anyway, don't even bother!

Ahaha! Am I not being rough enough on you for your liking?

[Sandalphon's got Izumi's pants off, now, and with his armor gone Izumi will be able to see he's half hard through his tights already. In truth, it's mostly the power imbalance that's fueling his arousal—he's not used to being the one in control, after all, and just the thought of it is enough to turn him on. But the mortal struggling beneath him is a beautiful specimen, that's for sure—and it's not harming those matters any.]

Be careful what you wish for, mortal.

[He flips Izumi over onto his stomach, tracing the line of his spine from his neck to the waistband of his underwear.]

What a lovely sight you are...sprawled helplessly like this...

[There's no fondness in his tone, though.

He pulls Izumi's underwear down off his hips and crudely spits into his palm. He needs a few more moments to stroke himself fully erect.]

A hopelessly foul mouth, though. Perhaps once I'm through with you you'll reconsider that. Would you like to take this chance to beg me to stop?

[ sandalphon is already being too rough, but izumi's pride is much too great. this isn't enough to make him back down, but he's only human in the end. he knows that he's simply no match with sandalphon especially when the latter's being like this, but he can't clue the angel in that he's utterly terrified of what's to come.

still, this is a very humiliating situation izumi's found himself in. he's not sure whether he wants this or not, because it's sandalphon's voice talking him down and it's sandalphon's face looking at his naked body with lust. if one can even call it that, despite being half-hard himself. ]

You'll... never make me beg.

[ he says as he tries to worm himself away from sandalphon's grasp. his hands are free, so if he can just struggle a bit more... ]

You have to do better than that to make me snap. Sandalphon would... He would never...

[ he'd never have his way with izumi without his consent. so to have this happen to him... well, lowkey terrified is an understatement. but his mettle has gotten him out of stickier situations before, so he's going to keep hanging on until--

until what? ]

You're talking about me as though I'm not right here. What would I never do, exactly? Hurt you? Violate you?

[Sandalphon grabs a fistful of Izumi's hair and pulls his head back to whisper in his ear.]

It doesn't matter whether you beg or not. I would, and I will.

[He hasn't prepared Izumi at all, but that's hardly high on his list of priorities as he pushes inside him. Any gentleness or care that Izumi may have come to expect from the Supreme Primarch is wholly absent—after all, this isn't the Supreme Primarch, just a bitter archangel of hatred determined to make Izumi just as miserable as he is.]

What else would I never do, mortal? What do you presume to know about me?!

[He gets angrier with every thrust. This is the first time he's ever touched someone else like this. There's a time when he'd have been horrified with himself, but he's been so lonely, so miserable, for millennia. No one will ever love him. This is the best he can hope for—to force a connection with someone else through his desire to lash out.]

How dare you talk about me as though you understand anything!

That's-- ahhh...!

[ any argument he has on the ready has been cut off by the sensation of sandalphon entering him dry, and the unpreparedness of it all causes him to arch his back as he screams in pain. sandalphon didn't even give him time to adjust before he starts moving, but the emotional torment the angel is dealing out with his words hurts just as much, if not more. ]

G-Get out... Get out of me! I didn't... I want you, but--

[ it hurts so much that izumi didn't register that a few small tears start falling down his face as he moans against his will. he'd like to tell the angel that he does know more about him! that he'd never ever treat izumi like this, so all of this must be a mistake!

but then again, what does a human know? he'll never comprehend the inner workings of an angel that's cast out of heaven. sandalphon had told him bits and pieces about his past, but izumi had never expected that he was this cruel. just the thought of it makes him sob, failing to swallow the pathetic sound down as he writhes around sandalphon's unwanted cock. ]

[Sandalphon grunts in exertion, but that sadistic glimmer in his eyes never dulls for even a moment as he keeps them locked on Izumi. Two thousand years of resentment, rage, and despair are all pouring out at once with only Izumi to bear the brunt of it all.]

Much better. I expect you've learned your place now.

[But he's not going to stop, not yet. It feels too good to stop just because Izumi is crying.]

You arrogant...weak little thing...I'll make you rue the day you ever thought to make light of me...! It doesn't matter how smart your mouth is if I snap the will to use it in two!

[His anger burns in the deepest parts of his heart. How dare this mortal parade how loved he is like he's bragging about it?

His breath hitches and he yanks Izumi's hips up to fuck him deeper, his eyes heavily lidded in arousal. He hadn't been expecting to enjoy the physical sensations as much, being more drawn to the idea of making this mortal realize how utterly powerless he is—but now that it's happening, he's enjoying this aspect of it, too.]

[ another loud cry gets ripped out of his throat as sandalphon thrusts in a little deeper, making izumi choke on a sob. he can't even dwell on the emotional anguish he's experiencing at the moment, as the angel continues to show no signs of stopping. if anything, the cries are only encouraging him to go harder and faster. but hey, the sooner the better, right?

not really. he isn't sure how long he's going to last at this rate. at the very least, sandalphon has yet to completely break him, as he summons up what's left of his energy to crane his head around and respond. ]

I wasn't, ah, I'm not m-making light of you! Why won't you listen to me?!

[ wasn't izumi's place at sandalphon's side, supporting and loving him? wasn't that enough? what was the point of their progress if sandalphon's going to turn out like this?!

he doesn't want to feel powerless - it's the last thing he wants. but in the end, he is just no match for an angel from the heavens above. if a god does exist, this is the last thing they'd ever want to see. ]

Why should I listen to you?! I don't even know who you are!

[Sandalphon reaches over to shove Izumi's head back down.]

I've never met you before in my life...and even so, you're dangling the only thing I've ever wanted in front of me, mocking me for not having it! I've endured more loneliness than any mortal could bear! I was...I'm...

[Sandalphon chokes on his own words, somewhere between fury and deep sorrow.]

You twisted the knife in my chest by making a mockery of all of it! Seeing each other intimately?! There's not a single creature in the skies who has ever wanted me around!

[At this point, Sandalphon is crying too, tears ceaselessly pouring from his eyes even as he continues his brutal pace.]

[ amidst all the pain, izumi manages to feel teardrops falling on his lower back as sandalphon continues slamming into him. the angel's words also gnarled around his heart like thorny vines, making it harder for izumi to breathe.

even so - ]

I-I do. I, ah, I do want you... These marks on my neck are all your doing! Why can't you remember...?!

[ izumi's hands scramble at the floor to find something to hang on to, or to try to get away from sandalphon's further assault. of course, it's futile. there's no way out anymore. ]

I-Izumi... Izumi's my name. And the reason why, the reason why-- ah! I'm enduring this is because I... [ he lets out a broken sob at a particularly hard thrust. he's feeling it, he's going to fall apart with his own cock furiously red despite the roughness. ] Please, please stop, it hurts--

It should hurt! Why are you expecting me to stop when you won't?! Just...shut up...shut up!

[Sandalphon heaves a sob as his hips stutter, spilling deep into Izumi.

It made him feel better in the moment, but as he comes down from his climax, that familiar self-hatred seeps back into the corners of his mind, sinking into every part of it. Sure, he got to feel high and mighty for a bit there, but what's he doing, really? Pinning someone weaker than him beneath him and making him suffer because no one else is here to comfort him.

Really...there's no way anyone could love somebody like him.]

I don't care what your name is. And I don't care how you learned mine anymore, either. You're not going to stop lying anytime soon. Tell whoever your informant is that it'll make more than a passing sweet word to entrap me.

[He can't believe, even for a second, that Izumi is telling the truth—such is the depths of Sandalphon's self-hatred at this point in time.]

[ izumi lets out his last broken sob as he feels sandalphon filling him up, causing him to spill all over the floor as well. he collapses, his poor battered body trembling as he snivels and covers his tear-streaked face with his arms. one can consider it a small mercy that sandalphon had taken him from behind, because izumi can't imagine how pathetic his face looks right now.

it doesn't make things any better, though. sandalphon's words ring deep in his mind, and at this point he's too tired, sore, and heartbroken to tell him off. except - ]

San... Sanchan... Help me...

[ he brokenly begs for help, even though it's futile. this has to be a dream that he needs to wake up from right now, because the pain and heartbreak has been immense that it Has to be.

so please, he thinks for one last time. if you're out there... ]

No one's going to help you.

[Sandalphon reaches down for Izumi again, grabs his shoulder, and—

—And it's not Izumi having this terrible dream.

Sandalphon jolts awake in bed, a wordless scream of anguish tearing from his throat against his will. The tears, at least, are real, pooling in the corners of his eyes as he wills the lingering afterimages of his nightmare from his brain, clutching at his head and trying not to sob. It's been so long since he had a nightmare.

His eyes dart over to Izumi, more than likely awakened by Sandalphon's yell from earlier, and he can't help but tilt his face toward him, scrutinizing him carefully.]

Izumi...I...thank the skies, I...

[He's not hurt. Sandalphon practically latches onto him, holding him close, heart still pounding a mile a minute. It had all seemed so painfully, miserably real, but the relief he feels at knowing it was just a nightmare is overwhelming.]

( catchall ) even now i still dream of you

anyway ive been playing granblue versus

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