yanderebitchclub | ( catchall ) even now i still dream of you

[ the hand on his lower back is reassuring in a way; it just means that sandalphon doesn't want to part from him after all that. it means that maybe he does genuinely like izumi as more than a pet if he's holding him like this in such a public location. but izumi doesn't want to be seen like this by so many people, especially his competition. he can't help but feel bad for lucio for a little bit too... just a tad.

he purses his lips, and then, avoiding sandalphon's gaze: ]

Can... Can I take this coffee to go? I'll wait for you at home instead.

[ before they both fuck up more than they already did. ]

[It's a good thing Izumi's looking away, because Sandalphon would never forgive himself if he let him see the sheer panic on his face. He wouldn't blame Izumi if he just turned tail and ran away from home after this.]

...Of course. Be careful on the way home.

[But if that happens, this is his own fault. Sandalphon slides out of the booth, giving Izumi a gentle pat on the head, and gets ready to get back to work. He glances back at him one more time, but...staring would probably hurt his pride, wouldn't it? It's best to just leave him alone, then.

...When he gets home, hours later, he stands outside the door of his apartment for several long moments. He's got to apologize...he's been rehearsing it all day in his head, and now it's time to do it for real. Finally, he opens the door, calling out.]

Izumi...I'm home.

[And then he waits.]

[ izumi did wait as soon as he got home, as soon as he changed out of sandalphon's clothes into his own loose-fitting ones. all while he's pondering over what had just happened at the shop earlier because who wouldn't overthink about something like that? it actually made him so tired just thinking about it that he passed out on the couch, only waking up when sandalphon had arrived home.

he stretches, tail curling, and he sits up and peeks at sandalphon from his place on the couch like some guilty child who's awaiting punishment. he dimly remembers the coffee he'd brought home, now cold on the coffeetable, and his heart sinks at not being able to drink it properly after coming all that way to visit his owner and watch him in his element.

anything he'd say right now might make things worse, so izumi opts to stare at sandalphon from afar, blue eyes glinting with... anticipation? because his lips still tingle at being kissed, and he's wondering if sandalphon would taste like the works he has to make every single day. ]

[The relief on Sandalphon's face should be obvious even from a distance. He barely remembers to take his shoes off and doesn't bother taking his jacket off at all as he rushes over to Izumi. Thank goodness he's here...thank goodness he hasn't run off, even if Sandalphon would have deserved it if he had.]

Izumi...

[He pulls him into a tight hug. Everything he wanted to say has vanished from his mind, even after going over it for hours while he made coffee. He's just so happy to see him, so sorry for everything...and before he even knows it, he's loosened his embrace just enough to kiss Izumi again—this time, with all the feelings he's been grappling with, with no audience to make a point to. It's just the two of them, the same as always, and still, Sandalphon wants to kiss him like this.

He has for quite some time, truthfully. He can explain himself later, but for now...for now, he only wants this. He only wants Izumi.]

[ the moment sandalphon rushes in to embrace him, that was izumi's breaking point. because after all that, sandalphon only wanted to hold him all this time despite izumi's outburst from the shop, and it only made izumi realize that maybe he should stop holding back from his own feelings too. especially when his owner made it crystal-clear with a kiss that sealed the deal.

so he kisses back, enthusiastically so, scrambling onto his owner's lap as if they'd done this before. they're both new to this kissing too and it's painfully obvious, and izumi pulls away to breath for a moment and to stare at sandalphon with bright eyes and even pinker cheeks.

he really is handsome like this. and it's something that izumi wants all to himself, as shallow and selfish as that sounds. even so, his lips curve into a smile, soft and warm. ]

...Welcome home.

Edited 2020-01-25 23:55 (UTC)

[Sandalphon can't help the tender, loving smile that blooms on his face in response to Izumi's quiet words. It's the kind of expression he's always been so careful to hide whenever he felt it tugging at the corners of his mouth, one too soft and good for someone as jaded as himself. But how could he do anything but smile, when the object of his affections returned a kiss from him?]

...I've wanted to do that for a long time. I'm...sorry for taking so long.

[He isn't the brightest when it comes to social situations and cues, but even he had been acutely aware of the tension building between the two of them for some time now. Dodged glances, more daring intrusions into personal space...all of it unspoken, wonderful, and terrifying.

But as much as he'd enjoyed the dangerous waltz they'd been performing together, this is better. Having Izumi settled into his lap like this, feeling his lips against his own...it's all so much better than he could have ever even imagined.

He pulls Izumi back in to kiss him again, still just as clumsy as the first. It's still not enough, he hasn't had enough of him—and so he gently cups Izumi's cheek in his hand and nips at his bottom lip, trying to coax his mouth open, praying he isn't biting too hard. They'll need plenty of practice with this, between their combined lack of experience, and now is as good a time as any to start.]

[ izumi lets out a soft, surprised sound at the sudden forwardness of sandalphon's kiss, but in truth he's been wanting to this for a long time too. he's been aware of how they've been acting towards each other lately, but he chose to suppress all that because the very thought of going that far with his owner is too absurd. but now...

he opens up and lets him in, sliding his tongue against his as they deepen the kiss. he's feeling a bit heady from this alone, tail curling behind him as he tightens his grip on sandalphon's shoulders, not planning to let him go for a while longer. ]

...I'm sorry too. [ a gentle apology in between kisses, for taking just as long to admit it. hate how it took lucio's sudden appearance to have them crave for each other like this, though. ]

[Sandalphon wasn't sure what he expected, but finding out Izumi's tongue is just as scratchy as a regular cat's is...well, all he really knows for now is he doesn't hate it. And he'll have plenty of opportunities to get used to it, besides, if this budding relationship of theirs stays solid.

His first instinct is to apologize again for...well, anything, really, or to say that Izumi doesn't need to, but he does worry about beginning an insecurity feedback loop. Lord knows he's not the most confident of people and he knows Izumi struggles too, for all that he projects an immovable personality. So although there are plenty of things he'd like to apologize for...for being haughty when he had no money, for making things awkward, for cheapening his first kiss like that...

...Though that last one in particular does still clutch at his heart, he puts them out of his mind for now. They can come later, when Izumi isn't so close to him, when he's more than mere inches from kissing distance.

For now, the only thing he wants to give Izumi is more kisses, as many as he'll accept from him. He leans back in to capture Izumi's lips once more, already hungry for more, as though he's making up for lost time. How long ago could their relationship have first taken this step? How much time has he wasted on his own insecurities...?

...thinking about that can come later, too. But for now, all Sandalphon wants to think about is Izumi.]

[ izumi doesn't want to disappoint his owner too, especially with how he's trying so hard to kiss as properly as he can, but it's not as though izumi's had some experience either. he's pretty, and could easily settle with anyone who's richer than his current owner if he wanted to, but...

in the end, izumi cares less and less about that as he cares more and more about him. he'd apologize too, for taking this long to realize it, but it seems that sandalphon's not done making up for lost time either. a low purr rumbles from izumi's throat before he pulls away to breathe, a trail of drool connecting their lips together. ]

I... Was this really your first time...?

[ either that or izumi's just that weak. he licks his lips, the subtle taste of coffee shared between them. it's so easy to get lost in one another now, but someone's got to get a grip on reality first before they both really lose it. ]

Mmn...?

[The question is enough to stop Sandalphon for going in for another kiss, at least; the glassy, faraway look in his eyes betrays his desire to do so, though.]

It was. I'm not very social, as you know, so I've just never...am I not any good at this?

[He'll get better, Izumi, he swears,]

I didn't say that.

[ though izumi was a little overwhelmed from all the kissing already... maybe that was just him? ugh, he really has it bad. ]

But I don't get it. You can have any human you meet at work, yet...

[ he opts to just. curl up on sandalphon's lap, making himself comfortable on top of him as he leans his head on his chest, relishing on the fact that he can feel his owner's heart race from here. ]

I don't want any of them. I never have.

[He isn't into women at all, for starters, and the men...honestly, if Lucio's personality weren't Like That, he'd be right in Sandalphon's strike zone. Someone who looks exactly like him, but perhaps a bit more refined and quiet would be...

Well, unfortunately for Lucio, it's too little too late.

Sandalphon holds Izumi close, stroking his hair, rubbing the base of his ears, hoping to draw some more of those lovely purrs out of him.]

I'm just happy to have you. I would be even if you didn't return my feelings.

[Izumi has been an overwhelmingly positive part of his life ever since he stepped into it. He's one of the luckiest men on the planet to be living with him.]

...What about you? I'm sure there are plenty of people who could give you the grand kind of life you deserve.

[It still kills him a little to know that he can't meet Izumi's most refined tastes all the time.]

[ oh, he's scratching izumi's sweet spot, causing him to purr like a nicely working motor. if that doesn't tell sandalphon that he's more than content being here, nothing will.

except... no, izumi's going to tell him anyway because he's a grade-A idiot. ]

...I deserve to be with you. That's what I've come to realize when I came to stay here. Besides, if I get everything I want in a snap, I wouldn't get much satisfaction from it.

[ what's the point if he gets to stay in a lavish mansion without any genuine love whatsoever? no, this is as good at it gets. ]

If... If you'll have me, despite everything I throw at you... I'm happy. You should know that. [ his face is so red, that he's just going to hide his face on sandalphon's chest, shh ]

[Sandalphon feels a lump in his throat that he inwardly begs to not become anything more emotional as he pulls Izumi closer to him. He isn't sure what he's done to deserve this kind of happiness, but he's going to grab hold of it and never let it go.]

Ever since you moved in with me, every day has been the best day of my life.

[Just when he thinks it can't get any better he learns something else about Izumi that only makes Sandalphon love him more. And now...to learn that his feelings are returned...]

I'll do everything I can to make sure that's true for you too.

[He presses a kiss to Izumi's forehead, wanting more but unwilling to wrench himself away from the warmth of his body to do so.]

( catchall ) even now i still dream of you

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