yanderebitchclub | ( catchall ) even now i still dream of you

[He'd told Izumi he could manage being home alone for a few days. He had sincerely thought he could. After all, he'd lived a solitary life until somewhat recently. But as the hours dragged on, the silence in the house quickly became oppressive. There was no one to feed him, no one to touch him, no one to even speak to—and before Sandalphon knew it, he was a wreck, a miserable ball of depression and nerves capable of doing nothing but staring at the door and waiting...when he wasn't sleeping, anyway. For the past few nights, he's been sleeping in Izumi's bed, desperate for even the scent of the person he's come to rely on; if he's quick, Izumi will be able to see it's his bedroom that Sandalphon emerges from.

And when he does emerge, it's quick as lightning, practically pouncing on him, ears pressed flat against his head and his entire body quivering as he nuzzles against his owner with his whole body, clinging to him as though he'll vanish. The coffee can wait. In fact, it's unclear whether Sandalphon even recognized Izumi said anything about it at all; it was simply the sound of his voice and nothing else that motivated him.]

You...came back...

[The relief in his voice is palpable. It seems like he might even cry.]

[ thankfully, izumi's not so caught off-guard that he'd fall on his ass, but he still had the wind knocked out of him when sandalphon came running at him. just a bit more and izumi would've been lifted off the ground from the cat's sheer strength too.

he unceremoniously drops his bag of goodies on the floor with a sigh, lifting a hand up to ruffle his cat's hair. jeez, and he thought he himself is homesick as all hell. ]

Why wouldn't I come back? Seriously, Sanchan...

[ he'd be lying if he said that he isn't guilty about it, though. ]

Sorry I took so long. They had to redo some of the shots they took of me in the area, so they had to extend it for half a day... It's tiring, I know.

[ his hand on sandalphon's head moves to the back of his ears, scratching gently. shh, he's here now. ]

I thought...when the time you said you'd be back came and went...and you didn't call...

[Of course, he realizes as he says this out loud that he's being unfair. Izumi probably didn't call because he was busy, and then arranging for transportation home with a displaced schedule must have been frantic too. But he's been so desperately lonely that he's not thinking straight, still trembling like a leaf in a windstorm in Izumi's arms.]

...I thought that maybe you had decided not to come back...that I wasn't worth coming back to, now that you're getting more jobs...

[If the Sandalphon from even half a year ago could see him, he'd sneer in derision. But a little kindness has done wonders to heal his scarred heart; the problem with scars, though, is that they're always there. And this desperation is the result of them.

Now that he knows what love is, he doesn't want to ever lose it.]

[ izumi's brows knit together in thought. even if he'd picked up sandalphon recently, there's no excuse for not letting him know sooner. the way his cat is trembling in his arms makes izumi's heart clench a little, and he rubs at his back soothingly. ]

I'm not going anywhere. Shh.

[ he plants a kiss on sandalphon's forehead. it... should be apparent that izumi may have some feelings for this poor stray and that it might be mutual, but it doesn't mean that he should take his pet for granted. izumi misses him terribly as well, after all. ]

...I've missed you too. [ he whispers into his ear. ] Coffee may not make up for it, but I really was thinking of you while I was shopping for them.

[ and like, the entire time that he was away too, but sappiness really isn't like him. they're going to get through this little by little. ]

[It takes a minute or so for him to stop trembling, but once he does, Sandalphon practically melts into Izumi's arms, purring lightly. It's easy to send him into a fit of loneliness, but just as easy to pull him out of it, so long as the effort to give him the attention he craves is there. And rest assured, Sandalphon will be begging for enough attention to make up for the days he had to go without.]

I'll make some right now, then. Would you like some too?

[Sitting in Izumi's lap, or leaning against his shoulder, with a warm mug of coffee and the arm of his beloved master around him...right now, he could want nothing more.]

Mm, I'd love that. I need to get changed, anyway.

[ he wants to strip off this outfit and into a more comfy one, now that he's rightfully home. so, leaving another kiss on sandalphon's head, he lets go of his precious cat and goes to his bedroom. that bed sure looked lived in, huh...

he's quick in changing in soft loungewear, and he quietly pitter-patters into the kitchen where sandalphon might be brewing his coffee. careful not to alert him, he slides into a seat and watches him work with pure adoration in his gaze. ]

[In just a few short minutes, Sandalphon has made two perfect cups of coffee. When he turns and catches Izumi staring at him, he can't help the flush of heat in his cheeks and the way his ears perk up, even though his facial expression does its best not to move an inch. Still, the beginnings of a smile pull at the corners of his mouth as he carries the cups over to Izumi, handing one to him and brazenly settling down to sit in his lap, nuzzling against his neck affectionately. He's already beginning to purr again.]

I'll...fix your bed up later. If I had known you'd be coming home, I would have already done it...

[It's kind of embarrassing, but Izumi doesn't seem mad about the fact that Sandalphon had been sleeping in it, so that's probably a good sign...]

[ izumi hums along his cat's purrs, ranking his fingers gently up and down his back. there's something really comforting about having someone on his lap, and it's something izumi has missed since he left for his trip. ]

I was a little late, is all. Regardless, I'm... sorry that I left you for that long.

[ he reaches a hand out to grab his coffee, putting it to his lips for a sip. mm. ]

...Delicious as always. [ he's so proud of sanchan? sandalphon will get another kiss for that. ] Seriously, I don't know how you do it.

[Do his ears deceive him? Has the normally proud and haughty Izumi Sena apologized?

...Jokes aside, it makes Sandalphon so happy to hear, though. He's sure he sees the softer sides of Izumi more than most people do, and it's not like his owner is heartless or cruel. But this still feels like a victory, and Sandalphon can't help but smile as he feels Izumi's lips press against the side of his head.]

All it takes is practice. But always leave making your coffee to me. Understand?

[If he learns how to make coffee this good for himself, that's one less reason he needs Sandalphon around, after all...maybe he's still feeling lingering shadows of insecurity, despite trying his best to ignore those feelings. For now, he snuggles against Izumi's chest, purring up a storm.]

You'll show me the pictures when they get published again, right?

[He always loves looking at the finished product of Izumi's model work. He could look at him all day...it's not as good as being in the arms of the real thing, but his owner really is one of the most beautiful people in the world. Of that, Sandalphon has no doubt.]

[ he rarely apologizes if at all, but izumi really does feel bad for his cat. he'd thought that lavishing him with gifts and attention would ought to lessen the burden in sandalphon's heart, but he's got a long way to go before sandalphon can fully function like a cat that suits izumi well.

but yes, he understands - izumi can make coffee for himself and they taste pretty good, but sandalphon puts his own spin in these blends that izumi can't quite place. maybe one day they can share tips with one another. maybe izumi could teach him how to cook sometime? that'd be grand.

anyway, let him fish out his phone and scroll through the photos for a hot second. ]

Yes, but - I can never get why you're so obsessed with those magazines when you've already got me?

[ like, is this some cat thing? oh well, izumi turns on the camera and focuses it on the two of them. ] Here. Smile!

[The smile that Izumi captures with the camera is a shy one, looking a bit embarrassed as he prepares to answer the question he's been asked. He knows it's silly to care so much about magazines when he has the real thing living with and taking care of him, but...]

...I...can't go with you when you work.

[He's bad with large crowds, and cats tend not to be allowed at things like photo shoots to begin with.]

So when I see those pictures...I can imagine what it was like on the set...I can feel a little bit like I was there too.

[Someday, he wants to be there, to watch Izumi work. He's always so beautiful in the final products, and though it goes without saying that he's just as lovely in his everyday life, it's still a side of him that Sandalphon has never seen in person. He wants to know everything about his owner, and this is one of the major obstacles to that.]

( catchall ) even now i still dream of you

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