izumi "tomthottery" sena (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
obsessiveness) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
yanderebitchclub2019-04-06 10:37 am
obsessiveness) wrote in yanderebitchclub2019-04-06 10:37 am
( catchall ) even now i still dream of you
gonna put some shitpost here later ok the point is is that we're free to wild tf out
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he sighs into the angel's mouth, tongue brushing languidly against his in a lazy kiss. he'd love to make this even more intense, but the dull ache in his hips serves as a reminder that he really shouldn't right now. which is sad, because izumi tends to show his love in overbearing actions more than words most of the time. ]
Mm...
[ he breaks the kiss, shifting on sandalphon's lap as he rests his head on his chest. he's always wondered if primals have hearts, and by placing his ear here he could practically feel it. ]
You're the one making me warm like this. [ and speaking of warmth, his gaze lands on the two cooling mugs of coffee that sandalphon brought earlier. ] Did you really think I'd get mad at you back then?
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[He sighs, looking slightly frustrated. Now that he has to put it into words, he's not quite sure what to say...but he'll have to give it a try.]
...From a practical standpoint...this arrangement is temporary. Though I have doubts about how long it is we'll really be here, if it really is only a year...that's a short time, even for a human. And it's time that you could be spending with the people that you'll go on to spend the rest of your life with once we leave, whether that's through an escape or through honest means.
[He strokes Izumi's cheek, brushes his hair away from his face.]
It's selfish of me...to impose my own feelings on you, knowing all of that. That's what I thought.
[It's what he still thinks, really. In some ways, having his feelings returned is one of the worst possible outcomes, because if Izumi has any love for him at all, it will hurt when they have to separate.
And that will be Sandalphon's fault.]
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[ izumi sighs. he's not sure how to deal with it when they have to separate as well when the time comes, knowing that he and sandalphon won't just give up on their own respective duties in their worlds for each other. it really would've been easy if he is to continue falling for makoto like the old days. or leo, or any of his classmates and be done with it. ]
...Back home, idols like me aren't supposed to have these kinds of relationships. Our fans would be heartbroken, calling us impure for not choosing any of them. It has to be a strict, professional relationship through and through - which was what I intended when we first contracted.
[ and look at them now. ]
I want to go home, but at the same time I... [ he grips sandalphon's arm tightly. ] I just want to experience something like this before I do that. With you, in hopes that you won't forget my mundane existence for years and years to come.
[ ugh fuck he's getting a bit emotional, let him just hide his face in sandalphon's chest a bit. ] If you could remember me for that long, no matter how you feel about me... I'll be satisfied with that. So... Please.
[ let him have this for a while longer. ]
lord i snapped im so sorry
[Still...he can understand the sentiment—of wanting to know what being loved feels like before returning to a life that necessitates forgoing it. A selfish wish from a selfish person. In the end, they have that in common, don't they?]
What nonsense. Expecting me to remember you for centuries when you can't do the same...you mortals really don't have any shame when it comes to making unreasonable requests, do you?
[But his tone is gentle as he runs his fingers through Izumi's hair, petting his head.]
...Perhaps that's a good thing, in its own way.
[Asking a primal beast to love him is itself unreasonable, after all, so if it weren't for that shamelessness, they wouldn't be here, holding one another.]
In exchange for the rest of our year here...
[Because it's really less than that, isn't it? They've already spent months together.]
...If you give that time to me, and me alone...I'll grant that wish of yours.
[So give him all kinds of things to remember, Izumi. Kisses, touches, words and whispers, enough for someone who spent two millennia without understanding what love is to think about for the rest of his days.
Theirs isn't the kind of love sung of in poetry; the only things written about their whirlwind romance will be in Sandalphon's personal, self-authored collection. And realistically, the time they have is so limited there are far more things they won't be able to do than things that they will. But that doesn't make the ache in his chest as he thinks of their eventual parting any less painful, and it doesn't make his smile any less fond.
He'll cherish every fleeting second he's allowed to share with Izumi.]