yanderebitchclub | ( catchall ) even now i still dream of you

( catchall ) even now i still dream of you

gonna put some shitpost here later ok the point is is that we're free to wild tf out

So...if you...

["If you want to give it a try, then let's do it."

It's not a hard sentence to say, by any means, but it catches in his throat, and it's all Sandalphon can do just to reach over and hold Izumi's hand, interlacing their fingers and giving it a gentle squeeze.]

...Let's...foster this trust we have in one another...for just a little longer.

[He averts his eyes, blushing fiercely. It's not how he wanted to word it, but it will have to do. Even though he's already told Izumi he loves him, the words are so much heavier with a lucid mind.]

[ oh, this is bad. bad in a good way, since izumi had never once dreamed he'd make an angel blush outside of idiomatic expressions. yet here he is, hands laced together with one who's not used to the very concept of admitting one's feelings just yet.

they're both contradictory in their own little ways, but maybe that's why izumi's able to understand him and vice versa, despite the belligerence.

izumi would still like to hear it from him, though. so he leans forward, a cheeky smile forming on his face. ]

That's one way to put it. But why not say it more properly next time?

[ here, a sweet little kiss to start things off. tell him, tell him! so that he won't have to, lol. ]

[ on one hand, izumi should feel like the luckiest primal alive; he was, after all, being chased by the supreme primarch himself out of everyone else. maybe it's his rather innate connection to echidna, a fellow snake-like primal, upon coming to in bestia island that led him to start taking care of the beasts along with her, or maybe it has something to do with his amnesia that made him unable to remember the past few hundred years since the astral war.

or maybe he's just hot. izumi wouldn't blame sandalphon at if that were the case.

but dealing with sandalphon was annoying at first, largely due to the fact that they're both belligerent, stubborn assholes. sandalphon keeps coming back to check on him, imploring him to remember what they used to have, and all izumi could offer is a weird stare in return. what past? the archangel was in that very same war, wasn't he? why is he making the attempt to reconnect now?

especially like this. ]

...I can't believe I'm doing this. Be honored that I'm even considering this in the first place.

[ that deadpan comment is made at himself more than anything, as if he's tired of his own bullshit. izumi's on his knees, with he and sandalphon tucked away in the forest after making sure they're all alone. sandalphon had wanted to try something in order to bring his memories back, and while izumi was just joking about getting him off if it stresses the supreme primarch, that much... well, here they are. ]

It's my idea anyway, so I guess I'll have to suffer the consequences.

[ not that suggesting that he'll suck sandalphon off is a bad thing or whatever. not at all. maybe he's being contrary to get what he wants in this, though it can be hard to tell to anyone who's not familiar with izumi's tsundere-isms. the slight flush in his cheeks even completes the look. ]

Just... show me already.

[Sandalphon leans into the kiss immediately. There's something a little different about it now...their first kiss as a—a couple? Are they a couple now?]

I...haven't I said it properly already? That's what got us here in the first place.

[His face is so red it practically matches his eyes, and he still can't look directly at Izumi.]

You already know what I'm trying to say. About...how it is I feel about you.

[Izumi will have to work a little harder than that if he wants to hear those three words again, it seems. But Sandalphon's more than happy to kiss him again, expressing with his body all the things he's too shy to say with words.]

Everything you make is delicious, but...

[But Izumi's trying to thank him, he's aware of that much. So he really should pick something. Izumi doesn't eat sweets as part of his diet, and to be honest, Sandalphon's not all that fond of them anyway; something like pancakes would compliment the bitterness of coffee, but if neither of them are that excited about it, it'll just be a mistake.]

Eggs and toast. A...western breakfast?

[He frowns slightly as he says it, unsure he's got the phrasing right. That's not what it's called in the sky realm; it's just one of the various forms breakfast can take, and directions have nothing to do with it, but he knows enough people who call it that that he figures it's worth trying the phrase on Izumi.

...Plus, it still goes pretty well with coffee, so it's a bonus.]

[Sandalphon's chest heaves as he groans wordlessly against Izumi's skin, the heat from their bodies making his head swim. At first, it's unclear whether or not he even heard Izumi's response, but as his brain catches up with the rest of him...

At first, he panics. He went and said it, something that he can't take back, something he's been sitting on for a while now, and not only that, but Izumi said it too. Izumi loves him back. Izumi loves him back.

And so that panic bubbling up in his chest dissipates even quicker than it appeared in the first place, leaving Sandalphon somewhere between giddy and terrified. He could hardly be blamed, he thinks, for letting his feelings get the best of him.

And his feelings are telling him that he's not done with Izumi quite yet, so he hauls himself up, pressing his lips to his Dominant's, and murmurs, practically purring:]

You look like you'll still be able to walk in the morning.

[And that's no good at all, is it? So it's time for round two to begin.]

[Honestly, there's a part of Sandalphon that can't believe he's doing this either. He's been very, very careful not to mention certain specific details about his relationship with Izumi, namely the fact that they were intimate with one another. It's one thing to be told you have a significant other after you've lost your memories; it's another thing entirely to be told that you and said significant other were sexually active. With that in mind, Sandalphon's decided it isn't fair to Izumi to tell him about that.

...But maybe that was naive of him. Naturally, anyone would come to that assumption after a while, right? And although Sandalphon's been holding himself back from touching him or talking about their time spent together in bed, he hasn't held back in voicing how beautiful he thinks Izumi is. Looking back on it, it must have been obvious from the start. That's the only reason Izumi would think to say something like that, even in jest, right?

Frankly, the one he's disappointed in is himself; he could have just as easily laughed this off, but as soon as Izumi made the suggestion, he'd felt his urges getting the best of him, felt his composure caving. He's already half-hard, something made quickly apparent as Sandalphon slowly lifts the cloth around his waist with one hand, the other tracing the edge of his own leggings. It's pathetic and he knows it, but seeing Izumi like this, on his knees, cheeks pink, only reminds him of the times they've done this before.

He misses him so much. Even so, he's hesitating.]

...You don't...have to do this, you know. I'm...I'm sure there are other ways...

[Frankly, it's a miracle that Izumi is still putting up with his attempts to jog his memory. Every time one of them fails, Sandalphon's afraid that it will be the last time, that Izumi's patience will run out and he'll lose another man he loves—this time, not to death, but simply because his feelings changed.

This is asking a lot more than any of the other things they've tried, and he's terrified that maybe it really will be too much this time.]

...Of course, I want this—I do, but don't force yourself...

[Ugh. He hasn't sounded so weak-willed since his days in the garden, but he's genuinely not sure which response he should go with.]

[ well that made all the blood in his body sink down to his dick. izumi's already feeling a bit sore down there, but he'll be damned if he goes against sandalphon's selfish whims right now, especially when he's being like this. so he nods, readies himself for the next round --

and the next, and the next. primal beasts are, after all, not human, and that means they have all the stamina in the world and skies to keep going, and every time izumi thinks he's finally done, he'd notice how hard sandalphon still is, and he can't help but encourage that at the expense of his hipbones potentially breaking. and if nothing else, there's still his mouth, to which sandalphon has gleefully emptied himself into a couple of times already. the old excuse about needing protein still works, apparently.

but it seems that izumi's finally run his course after - what, round three? four? he's honestly lost count; it's really as if sandalphon's aiming to fuck his brains out from how energetic he's still being. he can barely think amidst the endless sound of skin slapping against each other, their own moans and screams intermingling, and right now that's all that matters. ]

S-San--... Sandalphon, please...

[ he's still not sure what he's begging for here. he's on all fours, ass up on his knees while the rest of him is slumped down on the bed, fingers weakly gripping at the bedsheets. his voice is hoarse from all the abuse it'd gotten, from moaning sandalphon's name over and over to all the cum he had to swallow, and he just -- feels so used and normally he'd be angry at being treated like this, but at this point he's too tired to raise a finger. ]

I, ah, feel so full, so full of you... I'm r-really almost there--

[ his own dick is furiously red, dripping all over the mattress, yearning to be touched and yet not wanting any from all the sensitivity. izumi's really going to break at this rate, but maybe... maybe the angel would help him up to heaven, if such a place does exist. sandalphon can do anything he sets his mind to, after all. ]

Edited 2019-07-07 11:20 (UTC)

[ izumi sighs and melts into the kiss; he wonders if sandalphon will ever know the effect he has on a mere mortal like him, choosing him among the myriad of people from his world who are much more unique and talented than him.

maybe he'll never know, since izumi's just as tight-lipped about his own feelings. but izumi will show him how he feels as well, scrambling onto sandalphon's lap as he deepens the kiss. ]

Then... show me.

[ not with sex right now because... well. he was resting on a couch for a reason. ]

[ izumi has to raise an eyebrow at that, hands already resting on sandalphon's waist as he inches forward. it's a little strange to see the supreme primarch already scrambling for his words here, but izumi can't help but relish in that. in fact it's... quite cute, in a totally pathetic way. ]

Make up your mind already, jeez. It's not like I'm going to bite you or anything.

[ ...or maybe he will, just to tease him. he opens his mouth and softly bites on sandalphon's clothed inner thigh, gently tugging at the skin there with his fangs. one hand moves from his waist and gropes at sandalphon's cock, blush reddening at how hard he already is. ]

Or maybe you'd want me to...?

[ because izumi does. he really does, and he notes at how he's already a bit of a natural at this, as if he's really done something like this before. but as far as he knows, he'd rather tease sandalphon for acting like a complete virgin right now than confront the fact that his hypothesis about his memory being wiped may be true. ]

[There's no suppressing the shudder that crawls down Sandalphon's spine at the suggestion, his mind immediately and unhelpfully reminding him of all the times Izumi worshipped his thighs, kissing and sucking and biting until they ached. Yes, he wants to admit, yes, he wants Izumi to bite him the way he always did, even as he catches sight of those inhumanly sharp teeth in his mouth, he'd give anything to feel it one more time—]

I won't stop you if you try. This was your idea, after all, so you should at least be allowed to do what you want.

[But setting up expectations for Izumi to meet is failing the both of them.

He pushes the waistband of his leggings down to his knees, enough to expose every inch of his thighs, refusing to say he wants to be bitten but wordlessly encouraging Izumi to do it.]

...I want you to enjoy yourself, no matter what.

[Even if it doesn't end up bringing back his lost memories...even if this leads nowhere, he's trembling at the very thought of being able to touch Izumi, of Izumi touching him, after so long.]

I want...

[He just wants Izumi.]

[ his thighs are beautiful, izumi's got to admit. it just makes anyone wonder what the former supreme primarch was thinking when he created this man from scratch. just thinking about it makes izumi feel possessive and -- weird, because why does he care about all that in the first place? for all he knows, sandalphon would've done this with someone else because he's that desperate for attention or something.

still, he can't help his grip tightening, sharp nails digging into the angel's skin as he nibbles lightly on the other's thigh. teasing, teasing, until he bites down a little harder and puncturing his skin with his teeth a bit. he shouldn't be bleeding too much, but just in case he laps up the little wound his rather thin, forked tongue.

mm, there we go. it's not dark enough to leave a welt though, so he repeats this again and again, sucking and kissing along sandalphon's leg until he can just reach his crotch where he should be hard by now. if he isn't, then izumi's not doing a proper job. ]

Won't other people see these, though...

[ he whispers against his other leg, kissing sweetly alongside it. there's that feeling of deja-vu again, so it could be possible that he's done something like this with sandalphon before. but how? and when did it happen? ]

...Or maybe you just want to be touched right here. Isn't that right, Sandalphon?

You...

[Sandalphon whimpers breathlessly, thighs trembling and cock achingly hard. It's been so, so long, but even so, to be reduced to this state already is pathetic. The changes to Izumi's tongue are a little strange, but it's not bad. In fact, the difference feels good, makes it a little more exciting.]

...Don't you think people being able to see it...is part of the appeal...?

[Just like you used to, he has to bite back. Though Izumi isn't wrong about the other thing, either; he wants so badly to be touched, needs it like mortals need air to breathe, and he gazes down at him with equal parts lust and adoration in his eyes.]

If it's you...if it's you touching me, then I want you to touch me everywhere, Izumi...

[He wonders if he should be so forward, but...he's not sure if he could stop himself even if he tried.]

[It's not immediately apparent if Sandalphon hears him, as occupied as he is with fucking Izumi's thighs. Using his throat or his ass again when he's this tired is too much, even as desperate as Sandalphon is to keep going. His head's fuzzy, but the thought occurs to him that he shouldn't try to get the sheets much dirtier—

So he pulls away and splatters Izumi's back with cum, watches it trickle down the seam of his spine, breathing heavily at the obscenity of it all. He's already a mess, there's no need to make him even more of one, but even so...]

One more time. Just one more, you don't have to—I promise you don't have to swallow any more, but I...

[Even as he speaks, Sandalphon gently grips Izumi's hips to flip him over. So much for not making a mess, but he's already forgotten all about those concerns as he carefully seats himself on his lover's chest, the head of his cock brushing against his lips.

He knows Izumi's still hard too, so he reaches between his legs and pumps his shaft with his hand, carefully watching his reaction. Is it pained? Pleased? Somewhere in between? He's been so patient and so good, the last thing he wants to do is hurt him now.]

Just...please just use your tongue, I'm...

[He's so sensitive it won't take much to send him over the edge again, between that and the sheer anticipation writhing in his gut. To see Izumi in such a defiled state...

...He wonders when it was he became so depraved.]

[Sandalphon smiles slightly against Izumi's lips, wrapping his arms around him and gently tracing up and down the line of his lower back with the tips of his fingers. Honestly, he's so needy...but, well, Sandalphon's needy himself, isn't he? That's why he couldn't just let his feelings lie, after all.]

You're so warm.

[Physically, of course, but his personality, too—everything he does, from his harshest words to his gentlest touches, feels rooted in care. After all, if nothing else, Sandalphon's learned that Izumi wouldn't bother with him at all if he didn't care about him...and it's a thought that sets his heart alight. When he thinks about it, he's got a lot to catch up to, doesn't he?

He nips at Izumi's bottom lip, just enough to coax his mouth open. Just because he's not in the mood for sex right now doesn't mean he'll miss the opportunity to make out with him a little.]

[ that is rather forward of him. izumi's not doing particularly special here aside from giving much attention to his legs, but maybe that's just sandalphon's weak point. izumi literally has the supreme primarch at the palm of his hand right now, and he doesn't know what to think.

just... why him, of all people? ]

You have to be more specific than that.

[ everywhere could mean anything, and the blush in izumi's cheeks reddens as he finally moves up to run his long tongue along the angel's shaft, teasing his tip with little butterfly kisses. ]

I still don't understand the appeal, but... It's an honor to serve the supreme primarch like this regardless.

[ even now there's still tones of subservience in him, as izumi carefully takes him in his mouth, making little guttural noises until the tip of his cock hits the back of his throat - something that he hasn't done before (unbeknownst to him, at least). izumi then starts moving his mouth, sucking him hard as one of his clawed hands grips his thigh while the other travels down between his legs for some much-needed attention there. ]

[Sandalphon lets out a short, harsh gasp, fingers tangling in Izumi's hair and tugging at it. He's not used to this anymore, he can't handle being forced to take him to the hilt the way he used to, but that doesn't stop the urge to do it. It's so much different. His tongue, the way he moves...he doesn't remember all the places Sandalphon likes being stimulated, so it's only natural that it would be. But it's not bad, and more than anything, the sight of him swallowing his cock is just as enticing as ever.]

Don't...

[He murmurs, gently running his fingers through Izumi's hair.]

You're not...don't call it an honor, I...

[If anything, he's the one who should be honored; after all, without his memories, Izumi's still deigning to suck him off.

If he voiced that right now, the young man he fell in love with would probably smirk up at him and agree. He wonders if this Izumi would, too.]

...Izumi...mm, that felt good, do it again...you're doing so well...

[But it's unfair of him to compare him to his past self like that. He doesn't know if he'll ever get that Izumi back, after all.

It's a good thing his brain is buzzing with pleasure, because thinking any harder about this would certainly make him sad.]

[ izumi's face warms at how sandalphon says it; he rarely makes soft comments like that, after all, and it really is a privilege to hear something like that from him. they're both hardasses in their own ways, which is why sweet little gestures and words like this mean a lot more to them.

he sighs into the angel's mouth, tongue brushing languidly against his in a lazy kiss. he'd love to make this even more intense, but the dull ache in his hips serves as a reminder that he really shouldn't right now. which is sad, because izumi tends to show his love in overbearing actions more than words most of the time. ]

Mm...

[ he breaks the kiss, shifting on sandalphon's lap as he rests his head on his chest. he's always wondered if primals have hearts, and by placing his ear here he could practically feel it. ]

You're the one making me warm like this. [ and speaking of warmth, his gaze lands on the two cooling mugs of coffee that sandalphon brought earlier. ] Did you really think I'd get mad at you back then?

[ izumi hasn't gotten the appeal of having his thighs fucked until now; the friction is amazing even with bare skin, and izumi was close to coming right then and there if it weren't for sandalphon going ahead and making a complete mess out of him. it's depraved and disgusting, but he's just too weak to say anything, both from exhaustion and sandalphon being so lively even when coming so many times in a row...

he's never going to underestimate him again after this.

he groans at the added weight on his chest and the tip of his cock prodding against his lips, but he opens his mouth to sob when sandalphon rubs him out. izumi's already too stimulated at this point that he releases way too soon, probably after a couple of pumps, staining his own stomach and sandalphon's backside. there, now they're both filthy.

but izumi doesn't mind one bit at all. he's panting and red all over, but he's still eager at getting the last laugh, laving his tongue over the other male's dick in an effort to clean him up despite not having to swallow any more of his cum. even in his afterglow he's craving more of it, not caring anymore if he's disgusting because of it. he's even lifting a hand to wrap around sandalphon's length, giving it a few more rubs as if encouraging him to empty himself in his mouth and all over his face if his partner so desires. and if that wanton look on his face won't achieve that effect, nothing will.

because right now, all izumi wants is him and him alone, no matter how depraved he's become. in fact, it's even more exciting that way. ]

...Mad probably isn't the right word, but...

[He sighs, looking slightly frustrated. Now that he has to put it into words, he's not quite sure what to say...but he'll have to give it a try.]

...From a practical standpoint...this arrangement is temporary. Though I have doubts about how long it is we'll really be here, if it really is only a year...that's a short time, even for a human. And it's time that you could be spending with the people that you'll go on to spend the rest of your life with once we leave, whether that's through an escape or through honest means.

[He strokes Izumi's cheek, brushes his hair away from his face.]

It's selfish of me...to impose my own feelings on you, knowing all of that. That's what I thought.

[It's what he still thinks, really. In some ways, having his feelings returned is one of the worst possible outcomes, because if Izumi has any love for him at all, it will hurt when they have to separate.

And that will be Sandalphon's fault.]

[Sandalphon stares down at him, consumed with hunter and lust and need, licking pearly streaks of cum from his fingers, savoring the bitter taste of it. What a wonderful sound he'd made...and yet, the finality of it stops him from tormenting Izumi any further; he's content simply to watch his Dominant dutifully lap at the head of his dick.]

Ah...c-careful, I'm...

[He doesn't have enough time to finish the warning before he comes one last time, spilling all over his face. His breath catches in his throat as he comes down from his orgasm, muscles finally starting to go weak...but that won't do at all. Izumi may be delightfully, perversely sullied, and Sandalphon will allow himself as long as he wants to take in the sight of him, but before he lets himself fall asleep, he did promise he'd clean up...

...For now, though, he leans down to kiss him, the taste of himself mingling with Izumi's on his tongue.]

You're so, so beautiful...

[And the messier he gets, the more beautiful he becomes. After all, with his face splattered with cum like this, there's no mistaking who he belongs to.]

[ it's a good thing izumi manages to close his eyes before it happens, yet he wasn't really prepared to take it all in his face. he feels completely defiled, embarrassed that he let someone do this to his God-given face... but if an angel did this then maybe it's not so bad.

he weakly kisses sandalphon back, relishing the taste of themselves in their mouths, head swimming and face burning at how he's told that he's still beautiful even like this. izumi's relieved that sandalphon's finally started to feel exhausted, as he knows that he'd probably pass out if they go on for one last round. no, this is the perfect way to end it - there's really no mistaking on who he belongs to now.

he'd like to say something, anything, but his voice would sound so hoarse at this point that he'll have to come up for an explanation later. but he manages to find what's left of his voice, hand carefully reaching up to brush away sandalphon's hair from his face with a satisfied, loving smile. ]

Love... Love you too.

[ ugh, maybe that's too lame and sappy to say after a couple of hours of rough sex. but can he really scrounge up more braincells to say anything else when sandalphon has completely fucked his brains out? probably not. he definitely needs to be cleaned up though before going to bed, because he is not going to sleep with drying cum on his body. so here, he's tugging at your arm, let's go. ]

You've got a point, but...

[ izumi sighs. he's not sure how to deal with it when they have to separate as well when the time comes, knowing that he and sandalphon won't just give up on their own respective duties in their worlds for each other. it really would've been easy if he is to continue falling for makoto like the old days. or leo, or any of his classmates and be done with it. ]

...Back home, idols like me aren't supposed to have these kinds of relationships. Our fans would be heartbroken, calling us impure for not choosing any of them. It has to be a strict, professional relationship through and through - which was what I intended when we first contracted.

[ and look at them now. ]

I want to go home, but at the same time I... [ he grips sandalphon's arm tightly. ] I just want to experience something like this before I do that. With you, in hopes that you won't forget my mundane existence for years and years to come.

[ ugh fuck he's getting a bit emotional, let him just hide his face in sandalphon's chest a bit. ] If you could remember me for that long, no matter how you feel about me... I'll be satisfied with that. So... Please.

[ let him have this for a while longer. ]

...You know that just makes it sound like you're looking for a fling, don't you?

[Still...he can understand the sentiment—of wanting to know what being loved feels like before returning to a life that necessitates forgoing it. A selfish wish from a selfish person. In the end, they have that in common, don't they?]

What nonsense. Expecting me to remember you for centuries when you can't do the same...you mortals really don't have any shame when it comes to making unreasonable requests, do you?

[But his tone is gentle as he runs his fingers through Izumi's hair, petting his head.]

...Perhaps that's a good thing, in its own way.

[Asking a primal beast to love him is itself unreasonable, after all, so if it weren't for that shamelessness, they wouldn't be here, holding one another.]

In exchange for the rest of our year here...

[Because it's really less than that, isn't it? They've already spent months together.]

...If you give that time to me, and me alone...I'll grant that wish of yours.

[So give him all kinds of things to remember, Izumi. Kisses, touches, words and whispers, enough for someone who spent two millennia without understanding what love is to think about for the rest of his days.

Theirs isn't the kind of love sung of in poetry; the only things written about their whirlwind romance will be in Sandalphon's personal, self-authored collection. And realistically, the time they have is so limited there are far more things they won't be able to do than things that they will. But that doesn't make the ache in his chest as he thinks of their eventual parting any less painful, and it doesn't make his smile any less fond.

He'll cherish every fleeting second he's allowed to share with Izumi.]

[He'll do Izumi one better and scoop him up into his arms, princess carrying him to the bathroom and setting him down on the edge of the cabinet while he starts the bath. He's doing everything he can to ignore the pounding in his chest from Izumi's words, but he's definitely blushing the whole way.]

Do you want the water warm or cool...?

[Probably cooler, right? That's the temperature he's defaulting to, at least, as he returns to Izumi's side with a wet towel to wipe him clean before his bath.]

...I didn't go too far, did I...?

[Now that he's getting a look at him in the harsher light of the bathroom, he...really made a mess of him...bruises and bite marks all over his body, kiss-swollen lips, and...

...Izumi's going to kill him, isn't he...]

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( catchall ) even now i still dream of you

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we can timeskip to cum marking if you want or we can just play out the whole damn th

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shh i gotchu

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im still crying at how hot this tag was...blair you snappedt

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cries at your filthy ass tag too... what have we done

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we've ascended

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lord i snapped im so sorry

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