[Honestly, there's a part of Sandalphon that can't believe he's doing this either. He's been very, very careful not to mention certain specific details about his relationship with Izumi, namely the fact that they were intimate with one another. It's one thing to be told you have a significant other after you've lost your memories; it's another thing entirely to be told that you and said significant other were sexually active. With that in mind, Sandalphon's decided it isn't fair to Izumi to tell him about that.
...But maybe that was naive of him. Naturally, anyone would come to that assumption after a while, right? And although Sandalphon's been holding himself back from touching him or talking about their time spent together in bed, he hasn't held back in voicing how beautiful he thinks Izumi is. Looking back on it, it must have been obvious from the start. That's the only reason Izumi would think to say something like that, even in jest, right?
Frankly, the one he's disappointed in is himself; he could have just as easily laughed this off, but as soon as Izumi made the suggestion, he'd felt his urges getting the best of him, felt his composure caving. He's already half-hard, something made quickly apparent as Sandalphon slowly lifts the cloth around his waist with one hand, the other tracing the edge of his own leggings. It's pathetic and he knows it, but seeing Izumi like this, on his knees, cheeks pink, only reminds him of the times they've done this before.
He misses him so much. Even so, he's hesitating.]
...You don't...have to do this, you know. I'm...I'm sure there are other ways...
[Frankly, it's a miracle that Izumi is still putting up with his attempts to jog his memory. Every time one of them fails, Sandalphon's afraid that it will be the last time, that Izumi's patience will run out and he'll lose another man he loves—this time, not to death, but simply because his feelings changed.
This is asking a lot more than any of the other things they've tried, and he's terrified that maybe it really will be too much this time.]
...Of course, I want this—I do, but don't force yourself...
[Ugh. He hasn't sounded so weak-willed since his days in the garden, but he's genuinely not sure which response he should go with.]
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...But maybe that was naive of him. Naturally, anyone would come to that assumption after a while, right? And although Sandalphon's been holding himself back from touching him or talking about their time spent together in bed, he hasn't held back in voicing how beautiful he thinks Izumi is. Looking back on it, it must have been obvious from the start. That's the only reason Izumi would think to say something like that, even in jest, right?
Frankly, the one he's disappointed in is himself; he could have just as easily laughed this off, but as soon as Izumi made the suggestion, he'd felt his urges getting the best of him, felt his composure caving. He's already half-hard, something made quickly apparent as Sandalphon slowly lifts the cloth around his waist with one hand, the other tracing the edge of his own leggings. It's pathetic and he knows it, but seeing Izumi like this, on his knees, cheeks pink, only reminds him of the times they've done this before.
He misses him so much. Even so, he's hesitating.]
...You don't...have to do this, you know. I'm...I'm sure there are other ways...
[Frankly, it's a miracle that Izumi is still putting up with his attempts to jog his memory. Every time one of them fails, Sandalphon's afraid that it will be the last time, that Izumi's patience will run out and he'll lose another man he loves—this time, not to death, but simply because his feelings changed.
This is asking a lot more than any of the other things they've tried, and he's terrified that maybe it really will be too much this time.]
...Of course, I want this—I do, but don't force yourself...
[Ugh. He hasn't sounded so weak-willed since his days in the garden, but he's genuinely not sure which response he should go with.]